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| A Life Moment I Will Never Forget: Receiving the 2019 Distinguished Alumni Award from Hope College. |
Have you ever caught yourself dying to know who you'll see in Heaven?
(No pun intended.)
Most folks expect their parents to be there, I suppose, unless they were abominable human beings. But imagine you've finally made it to the Promised Land, strolling around the indescribably gorgeous landscape, when suddenly you look up in disbelief.
"Whoa –YOU made it?" you exclaim. "Ohmigosh! I totally did not see that coming."
That's the exact feeling I have had since last November, when I was notified by telephone that I was one of two recipients of the 2019 Hope College Distinguished Alumni Award, until the night of April 27 when I received the award in a dinner ceremony during my alma mater's Alumni Weekend.
The Distinguished Alumni Award is the highest honor that Hope, a Christian liberal arts college in Holland, Mich., where I matriculated nearly a half-century ago, can bestow on its graduates. As a former member of the college's Alumni Association Board of Directors, which selects the recipients, I was deeply involved for several years in the discussions over who should receive this accolade.
We debated over the credentials of acclaimed theologians, life-changing scientists, barons of business. My 2019 co-recipient, Doug Van Wieren, Ph.D., is a research fellow at Harvard, founded a school of science and technology in Bosnia, and currently serves as a site engineer for Google.
Me? I can use Google.
After numerous calls and artful questions (I am a old reporter, after all), I eventually came to learn I was selected for a number of reasons: my long career as a journalist and author; my devoted support for and involvement with Hope College; and my commitment to kidney disease issues and organ donor awareness following my 2011 kidney transplant.
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| Hope Calls Me 'Jimmy Mack!' How Touching! |
The official criteria, as set forth by the Alumni Association, includes
• Contributions to society through volunteerism
• Achievements within a profession, and
• Active involvement with the college
Well, well, well. I initially thought "distinguished" was just another word for "old," but the vast majority of old Hope grads don't have one of these, so I am deeply appreciative.
Rarely have I felt the love in any room more than I did that April evening in the college's Haworth Inn ballroom. My birth sister and brother, Jacqui and Lionel, both attended the affair with their families. (I was adopted weeks after being born.) More than a dozen members of my campus fraternity Phi Kappa Alpha, the Cosmopolitan Fraternity, came from as far away as San Diego and Maine to show their support. As Joel (Beeker) Slager, my era's frat president, wrote me, "We have to be there, Jimmy Mack. You know our fraternity. This doesn't happen to a Cosmo every day."
I had to chuckle inside while board member Scott Watson introduced me. "I've been on campus most of this week, and all I've heard about is 'Jimmy Mack,'" he said. "One person told me, 'Don't try to be funny when you introduce him. He will be funnier."
No pressure there.
May I let you in on a secret? I was scared you-know-what-less in the minutes before rising to accept the award. Terrified.
Now, fear of public speaking is a highly unusual emotion for me, a onetime standup comedian, professional communicator and ordained wedding officiant who performs more than 25 marriages a year. But in those instances, I generally don't know the people I'm speaking to. It's a sea of faceless images, often in the dark.
This night I knew at least three-quarters of the men and women in that ballroom personally. Together they comprised virtually the entire sweep of my life, they were very dear to me, and the lights were up full. I think I was Hoperventilating.
I don't believe my jitters were obvious. In fact, I felt kind of bad for Dr. Van Wieren, who followed me to the podium. He should have gone first. I had been practicing my acceptance speech in my head since the day I received the announcement, I'm a big ham at heart, and once I took the microphone my entertainer genes went into overdrive.
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| My Cosmo Brothers Rallied From Coast to Coast. I Was Overwhelmed! |
When I finished, my brother Lionel looked at me with mild astonishment. "Jimmy, I did not know you could sell it like that!" he exclaimed.
I may have been a tough act to follow.
Because several people have asked, and because I'd like a permanent place to keep it, here's a rough transcript of my distinguished remarks, with notes for clarification in blue.
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages — good evening. [I begin every speech and wedding this way. It's my mental trigger to say, "C'mon, Jimbo –– it's showtime!"]
If I may be bold enough to speak for Dr. Van Wieren for a moment, you honor both of us by your presence here this evening.
President and Mrs. Voskuil [interim Hope president Dennis Voskuil, who attended with his wife Betty and received a Meritorious Service Award at the ceremony]… members of the Alumni board… college faculty and staff… Class of ‘69 [celebrating their 50th anniversary]…
Family…Friends…Cosmos. Thank you for being with us tonight.
Is this cool, or what? I always said it would be a snowy day in late April before I got an award from Hope College! [A freak spring snowstorm hit Holland that evening; you could see snow falling behind me as I spoke.]
Some of you may not have seen me in a while. This hairy affectation [referring to and touching my gray beard] is the result of being challenged by my teenage son to a No-Shave November competition last year — which I won, by the way — the same month I was notified I would be receiving this award. I saw it as an omen. So I decided to keep it at least until tonight, as my tribute, my homage…to Dutch, mascot of the Flying Dutchmen!
I was going to shave it after tonight, but now my wife, Karen, says she loves it…I don’t know what to do.
And speaking of not knowing what to do, all these months later I’m still more than a bit dumbfounded, because I really do not know why I’m up here this evening. Now Dr. Van Wieren, I completely understand. Why I’m here, I have no idea!
When I received the call last November from [Hope Executive Director of Alumni Engagement] Scott Travis, as fine a young man as it has ever been my honor to know and a true credit to this institution –– and his race –– I remember thinking to myself, 'Scott is an extremely busy man, a dedicated professional with a lot of balls in the air: how does he have the time to call and spoof me like this?'
In fact I remember saying to him, 'Hey, that’s funny, Scott, but really: what can I do for you?'
You see, for several years I sat on the Alumni Board of Directors that selects the nominees for this highest Hope alumni recognition. We chose world renowned theologians, titans of industry, brilliant scientists.
I have personally interviewed Kid Rock…and survived.
Look at this man, Dr. Van Wieren, my fellow honoree. He founded an entire school of technology…in Bosnia! He’s been a research fellow at Harvard! He works for Google, for heaven’s sake! Me? And how the heck do you compete with a Van Wieren…at Hope College? [The Van Wieren name is legend at Hope, perhaps led by Glenn Van Wieren, who starred in basketball as an undergrad then coached the team for 33 years.]
It took me 40 years to be hired to write for News From Hope College [the college alumni magazine]. I’ve written for the alumni publications of many colleges and universities I never attended!
I finally asked, 'Why have you never asked me to write for my own alumni magazine?' They said, 'We thought you were too busy or out of our price range.' Really? Really? Have you never heard of the Dutch discount?
So while I have no idea what you were thinking, my deepest, sincerest thanks to the Alumni Board for this accolade. It should go without saying that it stuns and humbles me more than you can imagine. This I can tell you for sure: I’m not giving It back!
I can think of only one other moment in my life that rivals this one. I was the first — and as far as I know, still the only — graduate from my high school, Spring Lake High in West Michigan (Go Lakers!) to be invited back to deliver the commencement address.
I hired a limousine — which in Spring Lake, Mich., 30 years ago was no easy task — so I could escort my mother and father [Caribell and Hildry "Mac" McFarlin] to the front door of the school. The high school reserved two seats for them, in the front row right in front of the podium, so I could tell them, in front of an auditorium full of people, how much they meant to me and to thank them for all they had done for me.
Neither of them made it past the eighth grade, so education was of paramount importance to them. I was going to college! To my knowledge I am the first member of the McFarlin family to attend college. And while they cannot be here in person tonight, I know they are in this room in spirit. Thank you Mom and Dad. I hope you’re proud of me.
You know, one of the myriad benefits of being a Christian is the heightened perspective you obtain for hindsight. You can look back and say, 'OH, if this hadn’t happened, then that wouldn’t have occurred, and I wouldn’t be here today.' You see the hand of God guiding your journey.
I had been accepted at Arizona State University, and after growing up engulfed by lake effect snow every winter of my life, four years in Tempe sounded pretty sweet. Although I grew up less than 30 miles from campus, I had never heard of Hope College.
That is, until I received a cold call from a Hope recruiter one afternoon while I was attempting to watch an NFL playoff game on TV. I really wanted to see the game –– the Los Angeles Rams had to play the Minnesota Vikings on the road every December, and I enjoyed watching Roman Gabriel shiver on the frozen sidelines –– but the recruiter just would not shut up.
I finally relented. 'All right, I'll come! Talk to my guidance counselor! Set it up and I will visit your campus! Just let me watch the Rams lose!'
I visited Hope the first time on what had to be the heaviest blizzard of that winter. I literally could not see my hand in front of my face! My Hope tour guide would say, 'And over there is our Pine Grove,' and I would reply, 'Yes, that's very nice.' I never actually saw the campus!
I finally was introduced to a professor in the theater department, where I thought I would major. [I eventually became a Communications major, theater minor.] That was the era when the theater department was on the fifth floor of the science building. You had to climb up five flights to see a play. If you weren't knocked over by the scent of formaldehyde from the third floor lab, you could make it to your seats!
I'll never forget, the professor led me to a table with something covered by a large white cloth. 'If you come to Hope,' he said, 'you can be part of this!' He snatched off the sheet to reveal a 3-D model of the still-under-construction DeWitt Cultural Center! He showed me where the theater spaces and rehearsal rooms would be, and declared, 'YOU can be among the first students to build the foundation of our theater department in this glistening new edifice!'
That should give you a solid idea of how old I am!
Ultimately I came to Hope because of that new theater building, and because I wanted to be closer to my aging parents. It was the best decision of my life.
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| The Woman I Literally Would Not Be Here Without: Bewee. |
Well, maybe the second best.
Anyone who saw this year’s Oscar-nominated movie The Wife with Glenn Close understands my next dilemma. My wife, Karen — or as much of America knows her, Bewee, shorthand for 'Best Wife Ever' — admonished me some time ago, 'Do NOT acknowledge me or lavish me with praise in your remarks!'
'But if I don’t mention you at all, I will seem like an arrogant, ungrateful jerk,' I protested. She said, 'That’s OK, Honey. They know you.'
Dr. Walker Parmelee, my best friend and running buddy since kindergarten, is here tonight with his beautiful wife, Gayle. Happy belated birthday, Walk. Forgot to send your card again. Sorry!
My birth sister and brother, Jacqui and Lonnie, are here tonight. Although we did not grow up together, our bond has grown closer with the passage of time and I am so thankful for that.
My brother needs a new heart. It appears that body parts in our bloodline wear out before their time. While he has my heart in the emotional sense, an organ transplant is needed, the sooner the better. So, if you know anybody who knows somebody.…
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| A VERY rare photo: Me With My Siblings, Jacqui and Lionel. |
My initial plan had been to invite one or two of my Cosmo brothers who live nearby to represent the whole, so I could thank them here for accepting me unconditionally, without reservation, so many years ago. But anyone who knows the 'Mos knows they can’t keep a secret! Lured by the possibility of a free meal, they have come from coast to coast to be with us tonight.
Rick Hine, my freshman Pull coach and a dear friend to this day, flew in from San Diego just to be here. You’ll always be Hiney to me, Rick. I think it was Joel Slager, who came tonight from Maine, who RSVPd, 'We have to be there, Jimmy Mack. You know our fraternity. This doesn't happen to a Cosmo every day.'
My brother Gene Haulenbeek, who has been an extremely talented sketch artist since our college days –– and who remains available for parties and corporate functions –– surprised me tonight with this sketch, signed by many of the people here. The award, I expected. This I had no idea about! This means almost as much to me as the award itself. Thank you so much, Geno.
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| Geno's Memorial Poster. Is this cool, or what? |
My college roommate, Sel Harlow, is here. The great Paul Boddy. Ron, Gary, Marty, Ken, Max, Juan. I’m going to forget someone, but If I do, you weren’t that important to me. But seriously, to all of you: my eternal thanks.
You see, this campus was a very different place in the 1970s. 'Diversity' was a word found primarily in the dictionary. Yet as a fraternity pledge — a very controversial decision back in the day among Hope’s small African American population — the Cosmos treated me just as poorly and miserably as every other recruit. And in this day where Greek life has come under so much scrutiny and derision, I think it’s important to at least note the positive side of fraternities and sororities; these gentlemen will be my brothers for life, and I am so grateful for the role they played in helping me mature from boy to man.
And now, Marqueeta Abbott, a freshman at Hope whom I met tonight, is already working on a nonprofit to benefit the adult children of adoption. Stand up, Ms. Abbott!
As our incoming 14th president, Matt Scogin, said in his introductory video, which I hope you take the time to watch if you haven't already—with his resumé, he should be a distinguished alumnus ––and I quote, 'What Hope offers is an aspiration. As one professor said to me recently, 'We need to make sure that our name is not only a noun, but a verb.' Every other college or university I can think of is named after a person or a geography. Hope is named after an ideal.'
And that ideal remains strong, vibrant, and endures across generations.
I received an enthusiastic email of congratulations from Jack Ridl, my freshman English professor and one the great influences of my life and my career.
I received a handwritten card of congratulations in the mail — the mail! Who does that anymore? — from the amazing Tom Renner, who chronicled life on this campus for generations.
And whenever I would visit campus and run into him, the late, lovable Norm Japinga, ol’ Bunko, would exclaim “Jimmy McFarlin!” and greet me warmly. I still remember sharing the baseball press box with him many years ago and enjoying a sun-splashed chucklefest.
To this day, whenever I stroll the campus at Hope, invariably I will hear somebody shout out, 'Hey, Jimmy Mack!' I haven’t been a student here for 45 years! Where else in America does that kind of thing happen? Arizona State? I don’t think so!
If you think it takes place on every university or college campus, you would be what we like to call, 'wrong.' That’s Hope.
So I choose to view this award not as a validation, but as motivation; not an achievement, but an aspiration. I pray that I have many years, or at least a few months left, to prove myself worthy, or worthier, of this incredible honor. I want to continue to make Hope College proud of me.
Because you see, there are tens of thousands of people around the globe, many sitting right in this room tonight, who are distinguished alumni in their own right, who love Hope College as much as I do. But this much I can guarantee you: you will never find anybody who loves it more.
Thank you again for this incredible honor, and enjoy the rest of your evening."
Thank you, too, for the standing ovation. A night I will never, ever forget.
And check your driver's license. Many states have some sort of symbol on their licenses indicating the driver wishes to be a donor. In Illinois, where I live, it's a small red outline of the state. In other states it can be a heart, a star, or even simply the words "Organ Donor." I've found that many people are organ donors and either forgot or didn't realize they had made the commitment.
