Monday, September 19, 2011

It's the Pits

Admit it, guys: sometimes, when you're all alone in the bathroom getting ready to go somewhere and you suddenly realize you're out of deodorant, don't you sneak into the medicine cabinet and "borrow" a swipe of your lady's pit juice?

Well, I did one recent morning, and I must say I was shocked by what I found.

In my rush to leave the house I crept furtively onto Karen's side of the bathroom, slipped open her toiletries compartment and grabbed her Dry Idea antiperspirant. Dry Idea, as I'm sure you know, is perceived as a women's product, but SLAP! SPLOOSH! A quick stroke on each armpit, return it to its exact place on the shelf, close the door and no one will be any the wiser.

While placing it back in the cabinet, however, I happened to turn the container around and glance at its ingredients.

Here's what I saw:

In case you can't read the sentence smack in the middle of the label, it reads, "Ask a doctor before use if you have kidney disease."

Say WHA?

I can see consulting your nephrologist if you've been recruited to compete in a beer-drinking contest, or if you're thinking of going on that all-banana diet. But what kidney patient would ever think of asking a doctor's advice on what kind of deodorant to use?

I have scoured the Interweb trying to find information on why Dry Idea is the enemy of anyone with Chronic Kidney Disease. Nuthin'.

I am dying of curiosity. If anybody knows why this particular brand of stink pretty is Kryptonite to weak kidneys, please enlighten me.

In the meantime, this chance incident serves as a reminder to me to always read the product labels. On everything. It's a practice that's especially important when one's system is weakened by illness or disease.

Dry Idea's advertising slogan used to be, "Never let them see you sweat."

No kidding.